Day 26 - 08 November 2009

Ag ... it was nothing man!! My hospital visit was like a holiday to me - good service, good food, good company in the ward and my visitors, very little pain and lots of sleep. I was happy to get home Friday lunchtime, but I am taking full advantage of wearing out my new PJ's. When I am in PJ's it feels like I need to be close to the horizontal position as possible. So haven't really done much since my return except enjoy lots of visitors. I have even managed to do the dishes twice already - I can't let Hil do all the running around you know, even though I did say on the way home "so what is on the menu for lunch?"

That first night in hospital, after the op when I couldn't move, I even had a bed bath. It was from Whoopi Goldberg though and not Izzy Stevens :-). It felt like a real relaxing self-nurture at a Spa until I felt her heading towards my polly. I immediately told her that I did have a shower this morning and she just said "Mmm-hmm, that's nice" and away she headed downwards. "Ok, this is a little awkward" I said - but Whoopi was so professional that it is probably as normal for her to wash snyfies as it is to wash toetsies.

The food was fantastic. I must be an easy camper or something because everyone around me was bitching about the food - too dry, too this, too that. It was a 3 course meal, 3 times a day and I loved being served like that ... you know, in bed. Every time I opened my eyes, there was this beautifully served meal that I always seemed hungry for. Even when I left, I gave the squinted girlie who served me a big hug to say thank you for a job well done and she said "it was a pleasure serving you" - how nice is that.

The only real pain I had was when they took out the 3 drains. OMG that was painful, and my level of pain can be measured by my level of swearing. The first 2 drains on the second day included the F@* word but the 3rd drain on the last day only included "bloody hell man". The drain is put in with a stitch, and they take it out with what looks like a hooked nail file {shudder}.

Apparently they battled to control my pain after the op and I was in recovery for an hour, but I don't remember that. I also had this fantasy that I was going to have my very own morphine control to press the button every time I felt a tinge of pain (or needed a high). Like you see in the movies. But that illusion was quickly smashed when on the first night I got the "needle in my bum" pain killer. After that it was "you know what, Panado will do for me".

I did have to get a needle in my tummy every night for circulation though. I had the nurses in stitches with how I always had to ready myself - "okay ... go - no, no, no wait a minute I'm not ready - 1, 2, 3 - okay now". The one night they all gathered around to see the show because they didn't believe the sister who had to administer it. Oh well, as long as I can give someone a laugh I suppose.

I honestly didn't feel much pain besides that. Both my surgeons were really surprised with my recovery and lack of pain, so all I can believe is that it is nothing short of a miracle. When my PS came in to check on me, I immediately lifted my shirt before she closed the curtains and she said "let me close the curtains first as everyone is going to see". I just said - "oh don't worry about them, they've all seen it already, I'm showing them off you know". She should be chuffed with herself on such a good job. They really are beautiful perky pets that I now have with very little scars. I am surprised actually, as the tumor was on top of my breast but the scars are all where you do the pencil test. That pencil will now be falling, falling falling!!

In the beginning, it was uncomfortable and reminded me of the time when I gave up breast feeding and they had to stop the milk. They tied me up really tight, where it felt like my breasts were coming out of my back. Now, it just feels like I have a tight bra on that should be a size bigger. My boobs and right arm are still rather numb though. I guess being a smoker also helps with the recovery. I was up and about by 6am the next morning.

The best news was left until last and put me on a natural high. The surgeon came to give me the results of the biopsy. He sat down with his coffee and I thought "oh crap, this is bad". Normally he is in such a hurry that I never had a chance to ask a single question, now he is taking his time. But he said - "okay, so the result is that we cut out all the cancer and the 7 nodes we removed are all clear". "Woo hoo, that is fantastic" I said "does it mean I don't need to do chemo and radiotherapy?". Unfortunately I still do, because nodes 8 and 9 might still be affected and once you have cancer, there is a chance that there are a few loose cells floating around.

Because I am ONLY 45 years old and have many years ahead of me, is the reason why they need to take the precaution of chemo and radiotherapy to make sure there is no chance of its return in 5 years from now. You know what, I can live with that. I had already accepted it before coming to hospital. It is great news to think I am basically tumor (and cancer) free now, just taking precautions.

On being discharged though, the big balabos sister (she must have been the matron) tried to bring me down from my high a bit. She tried to warn me of the dark days ahead that I must be prepared for. It didn't work though, I am still very happy and am under no illusion of what lies ahead - but that is then and this is now.

Wait until you see the bra I got ... I will maybe post a photo of it (.)(.)