Day 21 - 03 November 2009

Today's the day to take that first step. I thought I would look as though I have a bad case of the DT's today and be saying that I lied about being "a little afraid" and that I was actually scared shitless, pooparooks, freaked out beyond measure. Surprisingly, I AM NOT. I am rather calm. Only last night did I have a few butterflies whilst lying in bed, but they seem to have gone now.

I am convinced that all the prayers and support everyone has been offering really got noticed upstairs. Besides, God and I have been good buds for many years, so he knows when I really need his strength and help and when I am just being bratty. He also knows that I am expecting good news on my wake up and/or major strength to face whatever else is in store for me. I'm letting that go now and will trust that things will be as they will be, no matter what that BE shall be. The future's not ours to see, kay se ra se ra ... LOL - I couldn't resist breaking out in song - we always do in this family.

A few deep breaths during the injection ceremony will hopefully help together with a tight squeeze of the nurses hand and I should pull through that little road block. I hope the nurse looks like Izzy Stevens :-). I need to get out more, I clearly watch too much TV.

My operation is scheduled for 13h30 and is going to be 3 hours long. Hectic. I'm glad that my op is in the afternoon instead of the morning, hopefully this will ensure a good nights sleep.

I'm not allowed to eat or drink anything from 06h00. I thought I would have to force myself to eat breakfast, but somehow I always seem to wake up an hour before the alarm clock. Even though I set my clock an hour earlier today, it still happened. So I imagine I will be hungry by 05h30. It's the tea and coffee I will have withdrawals from. I have always been a big drinker ... in all forms ... now they take my tea away!!! Deeemit!! I am also going to take it easy with the smoking from today. Doctor's suggestion. By this time tomorrow though, I imagine my lungs will be clapping.

I hope there are no bitch nurses in the ward. You know the ones who tend to wake you up, just as you are dozing off, to give you a sleeping pill. I also hope that I don't have any "conservatives or sensitives" in my ward. I am known to swear a lot when I am in pain. I have been told that I more than likely am going to be getting morphine. I can't really say how I feel about this - no matter how committed I am to my recovery, doesn't mean I don't think about and want to get shit-faced every now and then. It seems different though, because I really need these drugs and would rather have an intervention than pain. Even though drugs are not my main problem, I do want to remain vigilant on all accounts.

I am good to go now having done my major shaveathon last night - (legs, etc). So all that there is left to do now is to pack my pretty pink negligee and matching slippers. Oh crap, I wonder if I needed to get a dressing gown. The negligee is a little see-through :-). Oh well, an excuse to show off my new boobies.

I am expecting to be home by the weekend and have decided to not do any posts until my return. I am going to take my rest seriously - that and enjoying every minute of being in goo-goo-land. So, like my FB Status said yesterday ... let's do it, let's do it, let's do it, do it, do it (.)(.)