Day 52 - 04 December 2009

I think I have gotten so used to this chillaxing vibe that it feels like I am on permanent holiday. I can't really blame my cancer for putting me there as I feel this vibe every December, especially with all the summer tourists around visiting our beautiful city. The cancer has just given me the necessary justification that makes me feel it is okay to take it easy. In so doing, I have realized how much I enjoy it ... the shopping, the visiting, the arbitrary surfing (net), actually just general time wasting stuff.

I think it might be good for the soul. It kinda like puts me in that "smell the roses" place. I sure hope that this is not going to make it difficult for me to get into the swing of things when I have to get my A into G on the work front. But that is then and this is now, and let's be honest - nothing puts your A into G more than a bit of deadline pressure. Something my work always seems to provide, with the added pressures I always put on myself too. I have to constantly keep myself in check with those self-pressures as I have realized that it has something to do with Ms perfectionism trying to bring along its relative Auntie procrastination.

I am starting to believe that this is all part of the design and process that I need to go through. Learning how to enjoy those moments that are generally considered chores to me. I mean the other day I even found joy in making cheese sauce. We normally buy our cheese sauce from Woolworths, but this particular night we didn't have any - and who can eat cauliflour without cheese sauce? So I googled "how do I make cheese sauce" and it was so easy and tasty that I am never going to buy cheese sauce again. Maybe I might even start enjoying those "cooking channels" that a lot of my friends seem to watch - but then again (yawn) that's taking it a bit far.

Last night was another birthday celebrated at the Blue Peter for a meal and then some beach fun with the most amazing sunset. On a beautiful summers night, the Blue Peter is always pumping, and last night was no exception. As it used to be my summer drinking hole, I did have a twinge of regret that I am not the kind of person who can enjoy just 1 or 2 beers. Unfortunately I am the "die hard" that does not have the ability to stop and never wants to go home. I could have killed for a Stella draught last night - but thankfully the thoughts and feelings are momentary.

Today I am thinking of finishing up my shopping and a few other tit-bits that need doing. I need to cancel breakfast with Charlize Theron (who is in town) because quite frankly ... I forgot about it. I must however make time to exercise those vocals ... carols by candlelight tonight ... Joy to the world .. the world is .. (eh-hem - as I clear my throat and try remember the words) .. All together now ... Joy to the world (.)(.)