I think it is safe to say that the young lady I connected with in PE, you know the one who was diagnosed with breast cancer last year, has become my "bosom buddy". You know like in recovery we have a sponsor/buddy, well this is how I see her. Although she is much younger, she has become a source of strength to me. She is very wise and we can talk for hours. It also helps that she sounds hip with a husky French accent. And the best of it all is she is a cancer survivor. That's right, in a short 6 months she had done everything - op, chemo and radiotherapy, before her hair started growing back - so there is definitely hope. Not that I ever doubted it, but hope that it won't be such a long process after all. Even though one has to go for quarterly check-ups and take medication for 5 years. A constant shadow over my shoulder. But, the worst part of everything may be over in 6 months. Maybe this shadow over my shoulder will become a constant reminder to stay healthy, eat wisely, exercise, etc. Who knows, I might even become that pain-in-the-arse friend when I start with my "nutritional advising". So watch out girlfriends, here comes Jamie Oliver.
Everything seems to be cracking up around us ... first it was the dishwasher, then the toaster, then the kettle, iron, microwave plugs - not to mention all the PC's playing up. Hil also includes me in this list :-). There must be something wrong with the electricity surges in our home. But, my point in mentioning this is it all seems so trivial, regardless of the inconvenience, because it is replaceable. Normally, I would get a real "bad attitude" about small things like this, because the inconvenience of it all would take me away from more important stuff ... like work ... so maybe it is not such a bad thing that I have to slack off on the work side - I get to ponder more important stuff in life - like being creative (while Hil replaces the appliances - hehe). I wonder why work is so important to me, it is not like I have to define myself by it!!
Maybe the electricity surges are reserved for me from up above. With the risk of sounding "religious", I honestly feel the strength I am getting from up above to face this whole episode. I am not so anxious anymore, sure I am a little afraid, but not anxious. If I think of what it is I am a little afraid of - well, first it is the needles they need to put in for anesthetic - it should be the least of my problems, but it does get me, those dam things. Then it is waking up to pain and the "real" news of whether it has spread or not. I am not sure how I am going to react if it is not good news. God is just going to have to send me an extra bolt of lightening strength. I am most scared of my chemo days. The needles of course, but I also believe it can last for anything up to 4-6 hours (mostly spent on pumping all the potions to counteract the side effects). I hear that the actual chemo is very cold going into the body. Then there are the after-effects to face. I am not so scared of radiotheraphy, this is really just a strong beam of light that will only be uncomfortable towards the end with a sunburn effect (I am told).
I have never looked forward to my birthday as much as I am looking forward to it now - It's in June - it will all be over by then. (.)(.)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Bosom buddies...heheheh. Yup, I think it's great to realize that it's not necessary to sweat the small stuff.
ReplyDeleteDay 16..... Feels like yesterday was day 1! How time has flown draggingly by - oxymoron but am sure you know what I mean. Thank you for keeping us 'abreast' of things - this is a great way not to have to answer shit loads of questions. Thank you for sharing your journey with me, you have a lot of positivity and that is what will see you through. As you are seeing there is just no way round this - you gotta go through it - however, the way you face it, deal with it, cope with it and live with it is what determines your strength of character and commitment to life, love and self - well done you, I feel proud to know you x
ReplyDelete