Talk to the hand ... or forehead!!

It seems ages since I last wrote, and it has been ages. Probably just as well though, my mood swings have been horrendous and not worth sharing. I don't like to spend too much time wondering why I am feeling a certain way, just in case I come up with THE perfect reason ... you know. It does sometimes scare me though when my rages over a stupid incident seems to be out of control.

I'm not currently in a happy space, but I have noticed that this does tend to occur a few days before each treatment. Perhaps it is the dreaded anticipation. I am also feeling fat, bloated, ugly and uncomfortable. Tired too, very tired!! One would have thought a weekend away would have cured this tiredness, but Daphne didn't fail to annoy us last night with her 1am, 2am, 3am and 4am calls. I think she was just being bitchy as a pay-back to leaving her with Tutu over the weekend.

The other night, during one of those Daphne wake-up calls, both Hil and I couldn't get back to sleep, so we chatted for a couple of hours and tried to get back to sleep around 4am - bad decision as you feel like shit the next morning. After about 20 minutes of silence during the "back to sleep" time, I just burst out laughing. Of course Hil wanted to know what I was laughing about. I was thinking about our friend Rhona who died of cancer about 5 years ago. She was divorced and had her first boyfriend just before being diagnosed. Rhona was a beautiful blonde and we couldn't believe the boyfriend she chose - he was a real dog compared to her good looking ex.

What pissed me off about him was that he helped Rhona shave her head and then dumped her because she didn't do it for him anymore. What a cheek when he was no oil painting himself. What made me laugh was that Jordan was only 5 at the time and on first meeting this creep, his first question to him was "Why is your nose so big?" My God, I wanted to die at the time, but now I just think ... precious child! Out of the mouth of babes the most innocent truths come out, unintentionally, but as a grown man, this guy should have known his insensitivity would have hurt Rhona. I'm also not surprised Jordan asked, because none of us could believe how big his nose was. You know when you are really trying not to make eye contact with THE NOSE to make the shock so obvious, but instead the obviousness comes in when you talk to their forehead!! LOL

I took Jordan to school this morning and only remembered half way that I forgot to put a hat on. Jordan generally insists on headgear. When I mentioned "oops" to him, he just said, "well Mom, don't come out of the car and just drive away very fast". He still doesn't like it even though he did say that he has forgotten what I look like with hair.

Other than arm bones and hands aching, which is being helped a lot with physio, not much else happening on the symptom side. Blood tests tomorrow and 4th chemo on Thursday, which at the end will be the half way mark in terms of chemo (.)(.)